Alright. So I’m trying to navigate myself through online dating. I’m pretty sure my 18 year old self did not foresee this for my 44 year old self. Actually, I’m pretty sure that at 18 I didn’t think I’d make it to 35, but that’s another story. Online dating. Wow. What a spectacle of the bizarre.
I am trying to keep an open mind, and trying not to chalk up my “matches” to the logistics of living in rural SW Ontario. How to put this kindly… Men – I did not know it was possible to use a mug shot as a dating profile photo.
Guys, let me help you out here. Consider a few things when posting a file and creating a profile to post on your online dating ad as you seek the love of your life.
- Lighting – Important to consider. Make sure that the flash is on, or that you’re in a room with lights on, or even better, stand outside in the daylight. If your photo looks dark and shadowy, it looks as though you’ve cut the hostages you have in your basement out of the photo.
- Clothing – Didn’t think I’d have to mention this, but here it is. How about wearing a clean shirt? Or a shirt? I love a good spontaneous photo for a profile picture – however if your photo is of you seconds after being hit in the face by a shitty cows’ tail – maybe rethink that choice.
- Smile – These aren’t passport photos. Seriously guys, look like you’re a fun, happy guy to spend time with! If you think your expression and pose are saying “bad ass cool guy” it may actually be saying – “I rob Girl Guides of their cookies”. And you know what? If you’re missing a few teeth, it is okay to smile and still not look like you’ve never met a toothbrush.
- Was 1988 your year of glory? Because those acid wash jeans and Members’ Only jacket are a dead give away. How about posting a photo from this decade? Even better – this year? Don’t even get me started on the mullet. Just do us women a favour and use a photo that is at least a reasonable facsimile of what you look like today.
- Your actual ad. I’m not going to get into content… we’re all individuals and I can appreciate that everyone has their own idea on what to share with perfect strangers. That said – check your spelling. If a squiggly line appears under a word as you type it – you spelled it wrong. Hold your mouse over the word and right click – and the computer will hopefully offer the right spelling for you to choose unless you royally fucked it up. If this is the case – use a different word. Your welcome.
Look guys, it’s simple. Just be honest with who and what you are looking for. This is basically you giving your best first impression to a woman (or man) that could be “the one”. Take the time to do a decent job. You maybe surprised at how much more traffic your ad produces – which just increases your odds at finding that special someone.
Oh, and to the toothless guy who posed with the dead moose over the hood of his monster truck? Yeah.. I don’t think any of the above is going to help you out. Sorry.
Here To EATernity 